I have lost £3.....

....no, sorry, that's 3 lb that I have lost this week. Ha ha - it's a joke - see how I did that? £ - lb?? Never mind. It was funnier in my head.

And helping me along the way in my quest for a less chunky moi is an Xbox Kinect game - the Biggest Loser. Now, this is apparently a game show type programme on tv (never seen it) for tubbies who need to lose weight before they die of a cardiac arrest. It is, as confirmed by the reviews of the game, a difficult one to control. If you were thinking of getting a Kinect - and I think it's a fab concept because it generally means that instead of your kids sitting on their arses getting blistered fingers from using handheld controls, they are up on their feet using energy and co-ordination. No, it doesn't compare with being in the great outdoors for real, you puritans, but it is a good step for lazy gamers (of which there are millions) - anyhoo, IF you were thinking of getting one - you need alot of room. I frequently find myself backed into the farthest reaches of the room pressed up against the corner of the sofa trying to be seen by the sensor whilst preforming a series of 'jab crosses'.

AND, the point of today's diatribe is - this game is shit. Buy it if you want a programme of controlled exercises to follow on a regular basis (I do), but if you are not deft with the old control aspects of gaming (I am not and frequently swear at the console) and the constant drawl of American twang jars at the very core of your patience (good jaaaahb, perfect pose - just like a yoga master) then don't buy it - you will end up very angry.

AND - today, because the stupid pile of shite (the console, obviously - not me) hadn't saved what I'd done last week (3 workouts, no less), I had a terrible score and ended up at the bottom of the 'leaderboard' and up for elimination!!!!!! What utter bollocks. What happens if you get eliminated from your own game that you bought and paid for and can turn off at any time is a bit of a mystery to me. I ended up watching the elimination process in fascinated horror as it came down to me, or 'Amanda' getting kicked off the show. Luckily, 'Enzo' voted for me to stay, not Amanda, and I live to workout another day. Phew. I noted my character, a little fat round object in a red vest, collapsing on the podium in sheer relief.

Truly, I fear for our future.

ok, ok, don't faint

I am back in blogworld. The reason for the break? Er, Christmas, disillusionment with scrapbooking, holidays, blah blah blah....

So, Christmas was good - highlights and lowlights as ever. Great pressies received by us all, and it passed peaceably enough. We had the fortune of going to Lanzarote just after Christmas to join Mum and Dad in a villa in Puerton del Carmen - somewhere I have not (and never wanted to) visited before. How narrow minded am I?? It was, although a tad purpose built and touristy, lovely in it's way. The weather was idyllic - hot days, cool evenings, the resort was not busy. We had a villa with our own pool (that's a luxury that I will now demand from any holiday, I can tell you) just up from the main promenade, near the shops (tacky or not, I don't care - shops is shops), and I loved being able to bimble along either way along the beach/prom for a walk. Pics:

Cheezers:

Oliver and his nemesis, the front crawl:

Canarian sunset:

studying the specials board:

Madre y Padre:

Now this - this was an experience. Mum and Dad talked us into a stroll out to see the planes land - YAWN I think to myself - but - sacre bleu - how wrong could I have been mes amis - it was bloody fabulous, free entertainment!!! The runway was yards from where we were standing, and they came in at a speed of at least one million miles per hour and brushed the top of my hair.... well, it seemed that way anyhow. It was well good (as I would say if I were young enough to get away with it).

Get yer fill of that blue sky.......

The baking from Saturday's blog post of intentions:



The cherry & almond flapjacks were very good I have to say, the mince pies - well, same shit different year really. I hate my mince pies. In fact, I'm not at all convinced that homemade mince pies are worth the time, money and clearing up anyhow. I am sticking firmly to my shop-bought preference from now on. Sod it.

Today we got on with the timeline. We did the birth of the Jewish Nation, and it was fantastic to witness Oliver's joy at producing aesthetically pleasing work. He is genuinely enjoying this timeline, so I am dead chuffed with it.

laters.

do have a look....

....it's bloody funny.

http://www.52newthings.co.uk/the-52-new-things-list/

In a break from my blitherings, do take a look at the link above, it's a bloke who is trying (with the aid of suggestions) to do something new every week. My personal favourites are the walk home, the back, sack & crack and the colonic. Hilarious.

It is Mark' s birthday. It has started off with pressies (well received, I think - he is very difficult to buy for) and now he has taken himself off to the osteopath. Not as a result of the presents, I might add.


Oliver is off a-Pokemon-ing for the day, so I am left to my own devices. heh heh heh. Here are my intentions:


1. Get out all the gifts from the wardrobe thus far purchased for Oliver and make a list of what we have


2. Make mince pies (somethng I almost never do as they seem cheaper and easier and nicer than mine, but saw a recipe using ground almonds in the pastry, and think this will make all the difference. (yes Kim, I know you always do this....no one likes a smarty pants ;) )


3. Make cherry & almond flapjacks


4. Douse, sorry, feed my Christmas cakes with the last half of a bottle of brandy (the first half of the bottle already being in the cakes)


5. Squeeze in some exercise. I am uncomfortably aware of the tightening of my waistband and too-snug fit of jeans around my inner thighs. Problem is, for the first time I ever remember, I really just don't want to exercise. sigh.


6. Finish my second beaded bauble whilst watching Foyle's War. I love Michael Kitchen.


7. Ignore no 5.


8. Feel guilty for not doing no 5.


9. The usual drudgery: washing, washing up, changing the bedclothes......


10. Dye my hair. Well, cover the greying, darkening roots really. I have a box of 'natural baby blonde' waiting for me. How the word 'natural' can be incorporated into a box of hair dye positively bulging with artificial chemicals is beyond me...


This years tree:




Fabulouso.

'Tis the season....

and we're off. Yesterday was officially the start of the festive season, but due to the general business of Wednesdays, the erecting of the tree has had to be delayed. Much to Oliver's utter disgust and distress. When we were kids and had a real tree (miss the smell but not the clearing up) it didn't go up until a week before the big day. The goodies didn't go out until Christmas Eve. Last year I put the goodies out at the same time as tree went up and everything got scoffed by the end of the first week, earning me a bollocking from Mark. This year I'm planning a more staggered assault on the cellulite and general indigestion (the real meaning of Christmas obviously not being lost on me then) by putting out carefully selected and limited treats. (boring)

Yesterday's efforts:



The Advent Box




The Nativity scene


Today we have awoken to snow! Quelle delight. So the putting up of the Christmas Tree will take place on a snowy cold December day - a la Dickens, so I am forgiven by Oliver.


The morning dog walk


Although it looks as if I walked him at around 4am, this is not the case. I am just crap with the camera, and have the uncanny knack of managing to make a photo look as if it was taken in a completely different time zone than we are actually in.


see?



Also, I am now snapping photos of every aspect of our daily life in order to capture for posterity our December doings for my journal. Bit of a drag that I can't print them up, and since I need them at a smaller size than the norm, I have to get Photobox to send me my prints every few days (or it becomes hideously expensive).



And I beaded this




Hasta Manana dudes.

it's all about me

In a fit of rash creativity, I signed up for a swap on UKS (not again I hear you cry) - a fairy in a box swap. No, I don't know what possessed me either. Anyhoo, I have not taken part in any discussions on the thread about it, so frozen by terror at producing something hand made not from paper.... so here 'she' is in her beaded no-face glory.

Apparently I have to give her a name and decorate a box for her to live in too. Effin hell when will the torture end...

And here lies my entry for the Colour My World Art Journal:

This one is sunset colours, and I have used the lyrics from the Garth Brooks (who?) song 'Standing Outside The Fire'. Basically I think the message in it is do or die. Throw yourself in and get on with it or be a wimpy, insipid wraith on the edge of life. That sort of thing.

I struggled enormously with this one. I couldn't get any images to 'work' so have had to resort to typography. Quite pleased with it in the end though.

Also, I have finished (yes, you have read correctly) finished, a very under-used word over here at me and my amusings, my December Daily journal. It is now all ready for the beginning of the festivities on Dec 1st. Lovely. Bring it on.

Oh - and I placed a bet! A real live one online with a real live bookmaker!! Tee hee aren't I the daring one. It was on the next evictee on 'I'm A Celebrity...' (yep, I love it) and I won £44!!! How fabulous. Still, only a drop in the bottomless well of expense that masquerades under the name of Christmas.

And don't give me that old cobblers about the true spirit of Christmas and making your own gifts etc etc because I have made my own gifts before and it costs twice as much as popping into Boots on a 3 for 2, I can tell you. I can fully appreciate the true spirit of Christmas without needing to resort to sparse decorations and an orange and a couple of brazil nuts in our stockings. so there.