No, really - Masterchef I am NOT

Are you all bonkers? I am NOT going to take my application any further for Masterchef even if they beg me on bended knee. Which they won't when they find out I can't cook. Ha ha - well, I can cook, just not to a level which may involve wrapping proscuitto ham around baby turnips to produce 'flavours that dance around the tastebuds'. In fact, if I did go on I could have a go at Gregg Wallace for his bollocks recipe 'Imam Bayildi' - a veggie dish involving spices, lentils and such things which I attempted some months ago in a fit of creativity only to find that his quantities are WRONG - that's WRONG Gregg, since there was not enough moisture in the pan to coat my spoon, much less 'allow to simmer gently for 20 minutes.' Had I 'allowed' it to do so, all the smoke alarms in the street would have gone off and my saucepan would have had a fine coating of perma-lentils. Needless to say, the whole dish was a bit shite and bought forward much mutterings from Mark. I could go on about Mark's mealtime mutterings (largely unjustified I feel) for a long time, but let's treat ourselves to that another day.

Anyway, back to scrapping - done my week 9 SLYMI, scrap with punches. I have used my heart-shaped punch here.

And a couple more snaps of DT projects (sent off to the SBS today).

Masterchef I am not....

Have not blogged for a wee while - graphics card in the computer had a meltdown. Don't even know what it is but it has been replaced and we are all systems go.

Have done a fair bit of scrapping - some DT projects which I am pleased with - lovely bright layouts with the lovely bright 'stuff' I had. Nearly ready to send them off now. Some little lookies:

What else.... had leave from work which was very lovely, but the novelty wore off pretty quickly - working gives my day a structure it seems to otherwise lack, due to home-teaching etc. So, back tonight to the old routine....

Caught up with the SLYMI - here are weeks 6 - scrap with ribbon, 7 - scrap an old photo & 8 - cut a photo:

I have, in a moment of utter dimwittedness, applied to go on Masterchef. As previously explained to people who now seem to expect me to actually go through with this bloody stupid half-baked idea - I could not rustle up a caramelised beetroot tuille basket if my life depended on it. And I don't like fish much so there will be no pan fried skate wing with wilted red chard. I like tinned tuna though. Love to see the look on John and Gregg's faces as I tell them THAT one. Clearly I was having a mini mid-life crisis at the time of applying online. I cannot even claim I was under the influence - well, I was under Oliver's influence who seems to have perfected the art of bullying me by simultaneously flattering my ego and playing the hard-done-by son. I am so proud of him....

CC over & new challenges

So, the cyber crop is over & I won the pre-crop challenge for the Interpol team with my 'Think Pink' layout! That's good news & seemingly I will win a ribbon kit! Also I noticed (whilst browsing sat on the loo!) that I have a 'letter' in this months SI mag. Actually I had emailed in with a couple of 'my favourite layouts' but didn't intend for it to show up on the letters page. I think that I sound like an absolute tit because of it, but will receive a small 'goody bag' so I've done OK this week for freebies!

I did these layouts from challenges during the cyber crop:

This challenge was from Christy Tomlinson (of Scarlet Lime) and it was to use bright colours and a 'non scrapping' item. I used my Sarahs Cards December kit (Luxe Designs) and my non-scrapping thing was a used Christmas postage stamp on the 'letter' to Santa.

This challenge was from Shimelle, and was a kit. I loved the colours of this - some colours seem to work particularly well with 'boy' layouts, and blues and oranges are great. This is one of my favourites I have done lately.

I also made a mini notebook for a friend who lost her father unexpectedly last year. The sticker on the front reads: 'However long the night, the dawn will break'. I thought it apt as she does have her 'down' days.

There is the SLYMI challenge still to do - the next one is out tomorrow, but this weeks was to scrap with ribbon, and I didn't fancy it. I did do a layout with ribbon, but after virtually finishing it, decided I hated it and now it has become the first entry in my new scrap book album: 'Crapbook projects'.

Also, nice surprise this - had a pack of goodies from the Scrapbook Sisters to work with. Love these rich hues & some bits in here are flocked - very touchy feely. Got some photos converted to B&W yesterday, so not too many distracting clashes.

cyber cropping

The UKS Cyber Crop has kicked off tonight. For weeks in advance, scrappers clear the decks, stock the fridge with food and offload the kids so they can slavishly follow the online classes, challenges and games. All I have managed to do so far is clear my craft space and yell at Oliver and make him cry so I'm feeling a bit shit really.

I have made up with Oliver (horrible Mother I am) and he is settled in bed in front of Star Wars with some posh Lindt chocs that someone at work bought me to make up following a screaming row with her on Wednesday night. I see a pattern emerging. Better up the evening primrose oil.

A couple of classes have gone live, but am saving myself lol. I have plenty of things to be getting on with so I will be scrapping away to my heart's content shortly. There is a class at 11pm I fancy, but don't know if I can stay the course. Here is my Mystery Kit Challenge:

and my Pre-Crop Challenge (inspiration: Pink Panther):

Oh, and I seem to have had a letter with layout published in this month's Scrapbook Inspirations, even though I didn't email it in with the intention of it turning up on the letters page. Therefore I sound like a total dweeb. I actually only spotted it by accident when I was having a flick through whilst sitting on the loo.

snow and stuff

Today it snowed. It is always fantastic when it snows - it is so unusual these days and we rarely get a good sprinkling in Devon. I remember with great fondness the ton of snow we had in 1979 - the lovely light which hangs around at night when it snows - the muffled streets and everyone seems so happy and nice when it snows. The city seems to lose it's menace with a covering of snow.

Yesterday I glued together a couple of wooden planes from a kit for Oliver - which incidentally bore NO resemblance to the pictures on the box - and today he painted them:

And we made cakes. They were lush. I ate one, thoroughly enjoyed it and then tucked into another. I felt sick then. Why oh why can I not stop at one.

Check out my 'fairy name' on the left!! Bringer of riches and wealth my arse. I am considering doing them for slander.

Have signed up for a new swap on UKS. It is along the lines of the altered art I long to do but cannot seem to quite manage it. I have high hopes for this one.....

Oh - I have lost 2lbs, but can't realistically expect much better, stuffing two cakes at a time and knocking back bottles of wine on a regular basis.

a culinary adventure

Tonight for tea I cooked rabbit. A whole rabbit. Sans fur, head and tail of course, but I was quite disturbed to see that after I had removed all the packaging, the meaty corpse I was left with looked just like - a rabbit. Sans fur, head and tail. Not sure why I expected it to look like anything else, but it was a shock none the less.

Anyway, Oliver liked it and it looks and tastes just like chicken. Only cheaper. And smaller. And drier. And more like a rabbit.....

Finished my week 5 SLYMI, and I am pleased with this one. I love these papers, and I love this photo.

I see that the Scrapbook Sisters have loaded up the DT layouts onto slideshows on their blog - it all looks great. I'm feeling pleased with the work I have done with their kits - you kind of forget what the layouts look like, not seeing them all the time, so a pleasant surprise to see them showcased like this.

Cyber Crop next weekend! Have bought kits for a couple of classes and find that the first one is conveniently timed to take place smack bang in the middle of previously arranged activities, quelle surprise. Still, I do enjoy it and it gives Mark plenty more opportunities for excessive eye-rolling which is to be expected....

trout and sausage rolls

I tried to fob Oliver off with this food combination for lunch yesterday, since that is what I had available to give him, (and the trout needed cooking), I thought I could get away with it, him being 6 and all. He made a face to rival a Michelin food critic and informed me in no uncertain terms that those two things did NOT go together at ALL - 'no no no no no no NO,' I seem to recall was his appalled response. 'One is FISH and one is MEAT'. and then he made urging faces and I felt as if I'd offered him the poisoned challice and I was full of shame.....

I have, and I cannot believe this myself, done a THIRD layout for SLYMI, on time, and with enthusiasm.

I check on the old scales tomorrow morning to see if my week making an effort has paid off. I have to say, in all honesty, I have not bust a gut (pardon the pun), but I have certainly cut out the crap I have been piling in and done nearly 3 hours walking to boot.

And finally.... had a call from an old school friend today to say she was passing through and could drop in some books for me (language text books for Oliver, bless her) so that was an unexpected and pleasing surprise. It was very weird, in a very good way, because she still looks as familiar to me now as she did over 30 years ago, and in the very short time I saw her (don't park in the middle of the bloody road next time lol!) I felt as comfortable in her presence as I ever did and longed to spend more time with her. There are very few people I have ever felt that at ease with, and since I have seen her only about twice in fifteen years - I feel I should cherish and nurture that friendship rather than letting another fifteen years slip by...... Look out V - I will be inviting myself to Bath this year!!

And, really finally, a big CONGRATULATIONS to my niece, who has passed, with a good grade, her Geography GSCE - ahead of 'school schedule' since she is home taught, in a comparitively very short space of time. She is inspirational in that she appears to have a good grasp of the fact that effort equals opportunity equals reward. Very well done Sammi. xx