yeah, yeah, I know

I've been a bit slack in the old blog department lately.

I never really feel inclined to post without a photo or two, and since I have been pretty crap at doing anything arty over the last few weeks, I haven't had much to share. I made an abortive attempt at Shimelle's latest offering: the 'Learn Something New Every Day' class, running throughout September, but that went to shite after less than 5 days, when I realised that trying to focus my mind on learning/re-learning and re-discovering something about myself everyday was just too big an ask and I got pissed off pretty quickly. My last entry would have read: 'today I have learnt that this class is just not working for me.' I found the prompts confusing and mourn the loss of another tenner down the drain. (and another lesson learnt tee hee)

Anyhoo, once I cleared my desk of this debacle, I got down to some real life scrapping - actually the thing I enjoy the mostest - and did this layout with my most recent pic of the boy:

and this one for the challenge over on Sarah's Cards:

I am pleased with both, and feel I have eased myself back into enjoying scrapbooking again.

a big boasty proud mummy moment

Just a quickie post. Had the Exeter crop on Saturday, and just didn't get into it really. I only completed one full layout! I was busy feeling over-anxious about Oliver, who I had left at Crealy for the day, supposedly at their Saturday Club. Turned out that Oliver was the only kid booked on it, and since no-one had bothered to tell me, they suddenly had one child to look after all day....

He was allowed to stay, and I was assured he would be able to join in some activities that were running on site, and that he would be supervised.

Anyhoo, when I arrived in reception to pick him up, I was met with a barrage of 'ooh, we love Oliver' from the girlie receptionists and the activity blokes were full of compliments about him. When he arrived, with the activities manager in tow, he'd had a brilliant time doing archery, abseiling and generally enjoying enjoying himself. Mr Manager said he was a 'fantastic advert for home education' and that he was a great kid. He said he had worked with kids for nearly 20 years, and alot of the home-ed kids he'd worked with had problems with social boundaries, but that Oliver was truly at ease joining in with other children and confident and chatty with adults. (he'd had lunch with the staff)

It is always lovely to hear compliments about your child, but to hear so many good things from so many people, it felt great - I am so, so proud of him. It is fab when he achieves things, and works hard to do something, but to be so highly praised for who he is - just for being him - that's just the best ever. And if he is flourishing like this and showing the qualities I dream of for him - then Mark and I must be doing something right too.

live in the moment

Whilst out and about this morning I was amazed (and not in a good way) at the number of people engaged in some mobile phone activity - either texting or gabbing loudly for the world and his wife to hear.

For frig's sake. (whoever frig may be) why can't people just enjoy the moment they are in anymore?? They seem so intent on being in everyone else's moment at the same time, they can't enjoy theirs....

Anyhoo, I bought some glue at the Range, and I noticed that I put a couple of things back which, right now, I can't really afford to buy. I never used to do that. This is, for those who don't already know, the first month since last year that I am in charge of my own funds - I am responsible for the money I earn, and for feeding us for the month. I was worried that I had learnt nothing - once a spender, always a spender, but - actually, I have known all month in my mind, my running bank balance and what I have available to spend. I have rejected the things I know I cannot buy within the money I have, I have sold a few things on ebay to give me a bit of spare cash and I have - surprise of all surprises paid some cash in to the bank to cover a cheque I had to issue unexpectedly. Now clearly, in normal-world this is no big deal, but in Janice-world, this is testament to a lesson learnt. Good for me I say.

Finally got around to finishing last months layouts, just did a bit of tarting up really:

And this one - really like the pinks and blues in this, not really my favourite colour combo of all time, but I am happy with the finished result.

Went to Knightshayes (NT) which was fabulous - I love the house and the gardens are so, so lovely there.

Then I took this photo:

which cost me my camera for the rest of the day as I thrust my hand out to stop Oliver from banging his head on the eagle's beak and the camera swung round and bashed on the bird and the lens jammed. Shitsticks. So you'll just have to trust me - it was all gorgeous. Got to playing a bit of hide and seek and when it was my turn (groan) I lay down behind some lavender bushes on some flagstones and prayed I would be found quickly. After I had coaxed my creaky body down to the prone position I became painfully aware that at my age I probably looked more like a victim of a heart attack than a young fit parent playing hide and seek. Luckily Oliver tripped over me before any do-gooders could rush in with a bit of CPR.

juggling and balancing

Yeah well, he was fine - OK?? Nothing to worry about. Paranoid Mum, that's me, you have no idea. He's been a couple more times, and each time I feel more relaxed about it. The girlies seem to be able to manage the kids pretty well from what I hear. Can't help feeling sorry for the kids dropped off there day in day out, obviously there because of parents working, whereas I have the luxury of taking Oliver there for his benefit, not the other way around. I really am very lucky in the life I lead....

Have completed this layout for the sketch challenge over on the Sarah's Cards blog:

Quite pleased with the end result - I like these papers (My Mind's Eye), they are very vintage, but not as easy to work with as I'd thought.

Also finished this one from the crop:

AND completed my entry for the green art journal in my Art Journal CJ. Really enjoying this particular CJ actually, getting to work towards a style. I want to produce my own journal of my innermost thoughts and fears, but want it to be really arty, and I'm just not there yet.

By the way, I am not very religious although this entry uses the lyrics from the song by Joan Osbourne which I heard on the way home the other day in the car. I have always liked the message in them:

If God had a name/What would it be/And would you call it to his face/If you were faced with him/...........

If God had a face/What would it look like/And would you want to see/If seeing meant that you would have to believe..../

I just like the idea that if you could see God, would you choose to because then you would have to believe in him.....

I had yesterday all planned (whilst Oliver was otherwise occupied) - I was going to toddle around the antique/secondhand places for some bits. My wish list was not unreasonable, I thought, a couple of bone-handled knives for buttering, a nice cup and saucer for tea in my craft room, a nice individual wine glass (I have recently managed to smash our last two...), and some more odd plates. Could I find any of these???? Could I buggery. AND it pissed with rain. AND Topsham (said place for antique finds - or not) was full to bursting with snobs. And old people. And worse - snobby old people. How dare they be there to spoil my me time.

And I can't even begin to talk about the cats and dog..We spend our time dodging round the house so that they don't meet, and this is one helluva small house, believe me.

And BREEEATTTHHHHHE. Now where did I put that paper bag.....

on the edge (no change there then)

This morning I dropped Oliver off at a holiday playscheme. For the whole day. I have never done such a thing before. Obviously I don't need him to be looked after by total strangers all day, since I don't work by day, but my thinking was this: he gets to spend time with other children doing organised activities/enjoying himself. He takes another little step away from me and my influence. IF he has a good time, then my day by myself is an added bonus. When I dropped him off, the staff were all young girlies who gave me no confidence they would be on top of things - whether the kids are playing nice/getting along or if any child is emotionally struggling. I have come away feeling so tense I could snap in half, and feeling like I could just sit and cry. I am so worried that Oliver will be unhappy. I guess this is the feeling that I would get if I had to leave him at the school gates. It doesn't feel good I can tell you.

Four partly finished (for various reasons) layouts from my Saturday crop:

They all needed bits and pieces that I either A) don't have yet (my lovely new Stampin' Up stamps on their way...) or B) had at home and not in my bulging bag of stash which I took with me.

Report back later on the success (?) of the playscheme......

the mouth of babes and all that

Feel I really must teach Oliver some public toilet etiquette. Although you might think 'what is she blithering on about - what public toilet etiquette?', believe me, there are things one should just not say out loud in the confines of one's cubicle. Personally I think that hearing Oliver loudly announce mid-piss 'phew, that's better, my balls were really hurting', is one of those cover your ears and sing la la la I'm not listening moments. I was busy assessing my escape route via the small window behind the toilet.

Art-wise, have completed the next pages of the Colour My World Art Journal CJ, these pages are the colours of autumn, and inspired by the legend of Icarus. Apparently 'all limits are self-imposed' is a quote of his. Hmmm. Think his limit was kind of imposed by the sun, but, hey-ho, who am I to question the might of the Greek Myth.

Have also done some scrapping, but as this may pop up on the Papermaze blog sometime, will hold off blogging it here.

During my weekly sojourn to Tesco last week, Oliver asked if he could 'go to the Worlds'. Now by this he means the annual World Pokemon Trading Card Tournament - trust me, this Tournament is a big deal in game-world. I prevaricated, as you do, amongst the milk and yoghurt section, saying yes, sure, when he was older, blah blah, and he then asked if he could just go to watch. Absent mindedly I asked where they were being held, and he replied 'Hawaaii', with the same lack of guile he would announce that they were being held in the next town. I threw back my head and laughed loudly, and mirthlessly. Two aisles later, I was still trying to find the words to explain why this was just not going to happen. Bless him to bits, gotta love a boy for trying. I love my son. He got lots of kisses and smiles for that one.