quelle bloody surprise

The very day after my last post we awoke to claps of thunder, bolts of lightning and a flash flood which would have impressed Noah. I rest my case. So glad I invested so much time and effort into the paddling pool debacle.

However, the day was not a total washout (tee hee) as I spent the afternoon in the kitchen cooking up batches of Quorn Chilli and Lentil Shepherds Pie. I am a Domestic Goddess - no doubts....

Scrapped this for this week's SLYMI - Scrap a self-portrait.

During the heaviest rain I have seen for years, our brain-dead cat went out and I had to go and track her down since, knowing her utter stupidity, I figured she would not realise how to find shelter from the downpour. Sure enough, she was in her usual place in the hedge, soaked to the skin and looking utterly miserable. The next day I had to climb up a tree to rescue her after she'd shot up there in a fit of showing off. I heard Oliver muttering to his friend at the bottom of the tree about how he thought his Mum was 'too old' to be climbing trees. Got that right.

sun, slimming and scrapping

Highlight of the last week was actually being able to attend my first crop since Christmas. I managed two layouts and then felt scrapped out. It doesn't take much sometimes....

My 'diet' is going superbly well - not because of the amount of weight I have lost - only 6lb - but because I feel great and my off-the-scale pigging has been curbed through choice. I am cooking more and eating better foods and my body shape, I assume because I am eating low fat foods, is changing and I am thinner around the middle and hips. I never thought I would feel so happy about watching what I eat, normally my love of food is killed off when dieting, but this one (Rosemary Conley) has encouraged my desire to cook. There is NO food I crave to the point of ruining my day or view of myself. Wa-bloody-hey. I shall be snake-hipped (or - not probably).

The weather has been uncharacteristically summery and as a result last weekend I could not get a paddling pool for love nor money (characteristic of British life - sunglasses and swimming costumes will be in short supply next) but on Tuesday I struck lucky and Wednesday morning saw me busting a gut to get rolls of carpet up from the allotment onto our dirtbowl garden to put the thing on, pump it up with a foot pump, unwind yards of hosepipe to discover it was about 20 yards short..... I rang Mark to ask him to bring home an extra hosepipe as I wasn't 'filling it with sodding buckets' I was, obviously, hissing with rage at this point. Then a few hours later it clouded over and we were all back to wearing jeans and jumpers. Now I look down the garden at our empty paddling pool resting gloriously on it's bed of carpets awaiting our next burst of Summer. Which will be sometime when Oliver is 18 no doubt.

And last week's SLYMI:

I have had a rough-sounding throat since last Wednesday, which has been quite good, because I've sounded really ill, but felt fine (great for the sympathy vote) and from Friday onwards I started losing my voice (more sympathy) but by Sunday night I was starting to find my breathing felt not so fine and then I kept waking up in the night fearing my lungs would collapse and/or my throat would just close, there would be no time to save me and I would just die instantly.

There is no doubt about it - I am a bona fide Drama Queen, but in the dead of night thoughts that by day are fleeting and laughable suddenly become a realistic foregone conclusion and a spiral of self-induced terror begins. By 8am I was at A&E explaining my fear of imminent death by breathlessness. I was embarrassed to note my low, healthy pulse rate and blood pressure, but they were very kind to me, and assured me that I was not going to die ('well, not of this anyway') and sent me on my way with a diagnosis of sore and slightly swollen throat.

When I got home I felt very sulky at Mark (he is a bit crap at giving me any sympathy) so did not give him the exact diagnosis (for fear of sneering) and told him I had a raw throat and inflamed windpipe. Feel fully vindicated - this is only a tiny exaggeration and I was scared......

Have scrapped this photo of Finlay for the weekly SLYMI:

Last week I was invited to spend the afternoon with my niece Daisy, being a 'special person' at her school. This was a surprise as I was quite sure she didn't like me at all - but in truth I think I was not top of her special list anyway - the other, infinitely more desirable candidates, were unavailable. As a result, I found myself standing in the school reception with hundreds (30) other 'special' relations dragged out for the occasion and feeling quite sick with nerves at the reception I would get from Daisy - she was just as likely to ignore me totally as give me a warm welcome - it could go either way.

As it happened, she had decided to play her part perfectly and was very sweet and lively. She seems to have a very good teacher and I was impressed with the school.

This is not a drawing of me by the way - this is her 'Scary Teeth' drawing. I have to agree. I would be very afraid if I had teeth like this.

After this I had arranged to meet my old school chum in town, which I was really looking forward to. She has not changed and made me cackle with laughter just as she did when we were at school - lovely to spend time with her. You'd expect people to be different after 25 years - but it is so easy to slip back into the personality of carefree schoolgirl.....

A little (too much) of what you fancy

Spent the weekend in Mullion (Cornwall for those not local) in a caravan on a Sun Break (cheapo quick breaks for those not scabby tightarses ha ha). I swear that I will have to turn to valium soon in order to enjoy these breaks - and I use the term 'breaks' loosely - as by the time I have slung the entire contents of our wardrobes, kitchen cupboards and bedlinen into holdalls, bundled the cat off to cat prison and made lunch to eat in the car on the way, I am a so highly strung out I am humming.

Oliver normally asks for his lunch before we have made it three streets away and complaining of tummy ache and boredom by the time we reach the outskirts of Exeter. I try with good grace to be patient with him, but I am not known for my patience and I am usually gibbering with rage by the time we arrive. Don't even get me started on checking into THE one caravan/chalet you see on the way in and pray it isn't yours, under-heated swimming pools, unpacking and making up beds in the tiniest spaces in the known universe. I only unwind when Oliver is sated by 'holidaying' and I am on the first wine of the evening. Mark is very good on these occasions - he tolerates my nuttiness with disbelief and raised eyebrows and I usually end up laughing at myself.

After three nights I had drunk three bottles of wine and consumed my own bodyweight in cheese. I spent last night feeling extremely unwell as a result, vowing to return to the (not very) comforting bosom of Rosemary Conley and giving up alcohol. (well, cutting back big style anyway).

We visited a National Trust place over the weekend - only as an 'on the way back' sort of stop and we were glad we did - Godolphin was one of the loveliest places we have been to. Not because of grandeur or wealth, but because it was set in woodland and oozed history - it was very, very pretty - no interior to speak of as it is being restored, but it was all just so serene and nice.

Scrapping - got some blog candy from this blog last week and today I used some of it to make this layout for the weekly SLYMI - thanks Sarah!

This layout 'Terms of Endearment' shows the loving words we use when talking to Oliver. Clearly not words used in the car on the way to Cornwall then......

a little catch up

Just a quickie - scrapped this for the Scrapgoddessses monthly challenge:

and this for this week's SLYMI:

Went back to Rosemary Conley (the club, not Rosemary personally) and I lost 2lb in weight. It's OK, but I would expect to lose more this week since I have halved the calories I was consuming and doubled the exercise.... Think this is probably the healthiest 'diet' I have ever used, since there is a close eye on fat content - not just calories. Also would like to point out that I am not a diet freak counting every calorie - and neither do I advocate that - I pig on food - not binge, I am basically very greedy. And I cannot bear the idea of not drinking wine of an evening, so I have not denied myself that.

I cannot even begin to describe the utter joy I experienced in the supermarket this week when chancing upon a low calorie/low fat (and no doubt low flavour) pizza. I sang my way to the checkout I can tell you. Chef's critique to follow.

my life in calories

Last Thursday I deicded I could no longer go on with my high-alcohol massive food portion lifestyle, so I joined Rosemary Conley's Diet & Fitness Club. I am finding it hard to get my head around since I love cooking, and watching my calorie/fat intake impacts seriously on my interest in food. I find that all I can think about is when/what I will be eating next and how many calories I will have left at the end of the day to treat myself to wine.

Anyway, I was motivated to get on the cross trainer for 22 minutes this morning, which is a record - and I now have a further 200 calories for today! I know, I know, those calories are meant to be unconsumed and a bonus, but man cannot live on diet alone. It is Saturday night, and I want wine heh heh heh.

Scrapwise - did manage the week 17 SLYMI - I got to use my photo from a few posts back (I am still pissed at the week 16 failure) and will be working on week 18 later. Also have set the monthly challenge on my UKS team thread so will have that to show v. soon.

Week 17: scrap with lace & layers:

bits and bobs

weeellll, I finished Katie's jewellery -

Apparently she was very pleased with it but wasn't convinced I had actually made them myself. I take this as a compliment but advised that she would quite happily believe that I had made them when the bits start falling off.

What else....Oliver had his Judo weekend and found it all a bit long and tiring I think. He is so slight and easily worn out, bless.

Have been a bit sulky with the scrapping this week - last week's SLYMI was to 'scrap in the morning' which pissed me off somewhat, since the morning is not really an option for me to sidle off and indulge my need to fiddle with paper. So I spent the week sulking. Like a spoilt brat because the challenge didn't suit me. Really, you'd think Shimelle would give me a little more personal consideration.

This week's is a nice one, so have nearly finished a layout there. I will do the 'morning' challenge at my crop which I haven't been able to attend since December. (more sulking).

We celebrated our 10th - that's tenth wedding anniversary this week, which is a pretty amazing thing taking into account that it is a second marriage for the both of us, and it has not been a smooth path steering through sullen stepchildren and vengeful exes.

Anyway - Mark bought me these lovely flowers:

And we went out for a meal in Princesshay - La Strada. Where I got right ripped off for a measly 'glass' (note the inverted commas there) of Prosecco. I will be complaining in the strongest terms.

C'est tout.